6 Types of Island Boys 

When you live on a very small island, your options for dating, casual hookups, or serious relationships are also very small. You quickly learn that there are a handful of different “types” of these island boys and what it all means for us single island girls. Through personal experience, the coconut telegraph, and hilarious stories from my girlfriends, I came up with 6 types of island boys. To any of my friends who may loosely fit onto this list…don’t take this seriously. You know we love you. 

1. The Charming Bartender 

Every girl does have or has had a crush on one of them. They literally make their living off of their amazing social skills and they get you drunk professionally. The Charming Bartender learns your name quickly and remembers the things you tell them during your cheap, knock-off therapy session at happy hour. They are the flirts, they are witty and sarcastic, and they will charm your pants off but remember ladies, you are not the only girl at his bar. Before you confess your love, talk to him when his shift is over and see if he pays as much attention to you when you’re not…paying him. 

2. The Boat Captain  

If he works on a boat, you’ll know it within the first 30 seconds of your conversation. Captains hold their title loud & proud, and some may use it to their advantage because we all know- ladies love boat boys. They are smart, charming, and driven. They are so driven that they can hit the bars harder than most guys and still be up for work disgustingly early, and are pleasant enough to rack in those TripAdvisor reviews. They are overworked, generally exhausted, and barely have time to pack their lunch, so good luck getting these ones to take you out on a real date. Time with them will be spent watching Netflix, eating 420 takeout, and talking about boats, boats, and…boats. 

3. The Beach Bums

He is most likely donning a man bun, listening to Bob Marley, and carrying a mason jar full of weed in his backpack. They are laid-back, kind-hearted, and creative. These are the guys that usually have a lot of girls around because they make such good friends. The Beach Bums are obviously the best beach dates- they know the best hidden spots, they pack snacks, usually bring a hammock, and are totally stress & drama-free. 

4. Massholes 

It seems like New Englanders make up about 79% of this island. They gave up the cold, the patriots, and Dunkin Donuts to move here and sometimes they appear to be a little bitter about it. They are known for their quick wit, fiery personalities, and pride for their hometowns. Wicked smart, deeply passionate, fiercely loyal, but may have to check with their “Ma” before bringing you up north to meet the family. 

5. The Chef 

They catch the end of party crowd at the popular local bars, then head over to close down Quiet Mon, while usually still wearing their bandanas. Most seem to have girlfriends, smart girlfriends, because uh…the man can cook. They have a good sense of humor and thick skin, built up by spending hours a day in a kitchen full of men. You don’t get to know them as quickly as the front of the house, but when they are out & about, they definitely know how to blow off steam after working their asses off during high season. 

6. The Lost Boy

These are the ones with a twinkle in their eye and wings on their back. They are ready to take off at the next opportunity for adventure. 98% of them have a beard, and probably a well-kept man bun. Romantic and charming, but the whole free-spirit thing prevents them from being tied-down. Listen to their stories, they are always the ones with the good stories. They can be found on a surf board or a sailboat. Lost Boys are runners, they ran from wherever they came from and they will run again…

Radiating Positive F&%*ing Energy

I don’t know if the full moon really has anything to do with my life spiraling out of control once a month, but since I have moved to St. John I have definitely paid attention to the moon and what goes on in my life during the full moon. I always seem to get some text that will throw me off for a couple days, or one of my relationships will all of the sudden be strained and I just feel totally out of control and have no idea how to handle any stress other than to just cry and act like my entire life is falling apart. That’s kind of my go-to.

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In the couple of days leading up to this past full moon I started to get really anxious and I just knew things were going to get screwed up. I’ve had a really good month, I’ve been generally pretty happy, so of course I was just waiting for it to all blow up in my face. And it did! Because that’s just how shit works for me. I don’t have anxiety all of the time but when I do, it is pretty drastic. I annoy myself with how down I get, how much I over-analyze every situation, and how I can’t stop talking about the same stupid things to my friends over, and over, and over again (my friends and roommate are nodding their heads in agreement as they read this). That is pretty much how I have been during the full moons, coincidence or not, and now that the moon is going back to how I like it, I feel myself being a little less crazy.

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” When I get into these funks, the thing I try to remind myself of the most is that you get what you give. I totally believe that we are in a universe that hears us, feels us, and picks up on our energy. When I am able to pull myself out of a slump by just screaming at myself, “YOU’RE FINE, YOU’RE HAPPY, YOU’RE SO STABLE AND PUT TOGETHER!”, I start off really not believing that any of that shit is true, but if I put off that energy, positivity will come back to me. IT WILL. BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT (kind of, but I still might be trying to convince myself).

I said goodbye to my closest family friends this morning as their vacation, and my staycation ended. I had so much fun while they were here, of course it went by way too fast, and the end always just sucks. I sobbed in the car on my way home and I called Dakota and said “Hey, I’m gonna pick you up, and I’m gonna cry, and I need that to be fine.” As always, it was, and she sat there and listened to me give myself a pep-talk, and we both laughed as I was gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, holding back tears saying, “I am just going to be happy. I am going to radiate positive fucking energy.” Positive. Fucking. Energy.

Life is just shitty sometimes. Sometimes when you’re a 23 year old girl, totally in over your head, no real plans or commitments, it can just really suck. Sometimes life is amazing and you don’t even know how you got so lucky to live the way that you do, but then in the blink of an eye or the change of a moon phase, it can all go to shit. You have no control over the vast majority of things in your life, but what you can control is what you put into this world and give off into the universe. When Dakota got out of the car this morning, I said “Okay QUICK, give me a pep-talk!” She tried to quote The Help but totally screwed it up, so I reminded her that the talk goes, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” In true Dakota fashion, she added, “You is sexy. You is ready.” True.

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Let Go, Let God 

I was scrolling through Twitter the other day and my beautiful friend Bri posted a series of tweets that resonated with me. It was something her previous prayer leader taught her about holding on to things that aren’t meant for us and I’m going to do my best to reiterate what she said.

So- think of something you really love and you really care about. Picture holding it in the palm of your hand and someone trying to take it away from you. You love this thing, you want to keep it, but someone is trying to take it from you so you resist and you fight back and it hurts! They’re not giving up, you’re holding it so tightly in your palm and they’re just ripping it out of your hand. So, what if you just let it go? You trust what they’re doing, you open up your palm, and you just let it go. Sometimes God gives us things that aren’t meant for us and He has to take them back. If we just open our palm, let it go, trust in Him, it won’t hurt so badly. “Simply, obediently, and gently.”

The older I get the easier this is for me to understand and obey, but I still fight it. I will have things in my life that I know I don’t have control over, that I can’t change, but I’ll do everything in my power to try because I really struggle with letting things go. I think about this in relation to my life in general and wonder about my plan and my purpose, and the more I try to control and change the more I get hurt. I don’t really know why I’m here, I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I have to stop trying to figure it out.

When I sit down to think about my faith or just faith in general, I am amazed at how underrated it seems to be. Having faith in someone or something is so extraordinarily powerful. If you identify as being a Christian, you have blind faith in something much bigger than all of us. You send your prayers up to someone you can’t hear respond, you trust in a plan that you’ve never been told about, and you do this with faith, hope & love. Why? I was raised by Christians but Christianity was never forced upon me, I was given the resources to make my own decisions about my religion and spirituality and I chose to confirm my faith through my church. I chose to follow God, and through living this “life I imagined”, I need to give so much more credit and praise to the real reason why I am here. It is part of a plan that was put together just for me, just like every other tiny little compenent of my life. All for a reason. “God will wreck your plans when He sees they are about to wreck you.” Have faith, y’all.