Two Months.

I feel like I was just writing about my first week here. Today marks month 2! Of course there are still challenges and there are still days when I wonder why the hell I did this, but overall, I am so overjoyed. I am so blissfully happy. I imagined a life of living on St. John, I designed it, I followed through the plans, and I am here two months later. I made a promise to myself to stop living for someone else and build a life on my own where I am the most happy. I am here.

Today I got my eyebrows done for the first time in two months which made me think about all of the other things I haven’t done in the past two months. I will share some of those things with you.

In the past two months:

  • I have not had Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, or Starbucks.
  • I have not walked into a Target.
  • I have not had a meal with my family.
  • I have not watched Netflix in bed. Or watched cable- at all.
  • I haven’t seen my dogs or my hedgehog.
  • I haven’t hugged my best friends.
  • I haven’t used an ATM without a $3 fee.
  • I haven’t put my clothes in a dryer.
  • I haven’t gone a day without putting on bug spray, or getting bit by a mosquito.

There are a few other things that I haven’t had the luxury or convenience of doing in the past two months, but I would much rather share with you the things that I have been able to do. In the past two months, I have had more carefree laughs, more genuine friends, more deep breaths, more stares up to a clear sky full of stars, and more happy hour dates than I ever have in my life. I have spent more time on the beach, and swimming in clear water with turtles than many people will ever be able to do in their lifetime.

Yesterday was a day that tested my patience. My phone stopped working and since I didn’t have internet set up at my apartment, I was NOT feeling good about going home to an empty room with no connection to the outside world. I was at school when this all started and I had plans to go for a swim with Veronica after school so despite my foul mood we went. When we got there and were sitting in the parking lot I had to use her phone to talk to the company that was bringing my car over from St. Thomas to St. John. This is the same company that handled the registration, title, plates, stickers, etc., so I was waiting on the total that I owed them. I was prepared for about $500-600, so when they told me my total was $1,256.88 I pretty much lost it. My fault for not looking into how much all of the different fees are, but on top of my phone not working, I was not being able to transfer money into the right account since I had left school and didn’t have wifi anymore or pull out that much cash at once, I just became so frustrated and so overwhelmed. I dragged my sorry ass to the sand, dove into the water and stood there and looked around. Ok- shit was kind of hitting the fan and I really didn’t know how I was going to fix everything, but I was dealing with all of my problems while I was swimming in the Caribbean Sea with my good friend on our way home from work. Who else can make a pit stop to the Caribbean Sea on their way home from work? My worst days here are still the best days of my life. A phone, a car, money…it’s all replaceable. The days I spend here, the friends I make here…I won’t get these moments back once they’re gone.

I obviously still take things for granted. I would love to say that I live each day to its full potential and I don’t bring the stress of things that don’t matter into this experience, but I am human. I live on an island 2,000 miles away, yeah- I’m gonna cry a little if my phone breaks. I think that’s ok, as long as when I calm down I remember how utterly blessed I am, how much joy I have in my heart, and how in love I am with this island and the life I am building here. There won’t be a day that I won’t have one challenge that I wouldn’t have if I lived in the states, but…I live on St. John. Two months down, how many more to come?

hansen

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