Well. A lot has happened since I last checked in- some minor things like uhhh graduating college. Mhm, that happened. It was very surreal and I still don’t think that it has really hit me yet. For the past 4 years, every December we have a month long break and then we return for the spring semester. So this feeling of wrapping up and then coming home with not really much to do still feels pretty normal. I think that when I start to see people going back to school in January it’s going to hit me that I’m not in school anymore. I’ve been a student for 16 1/2 years, so not having that title anymore is definitely freaking me out. Graduation was beautiful, the weather was unbelievable for December, and just like the rest of my college career, and flew by before I could even blink.
I leave for St. John on January 2nd. Less than two weeks. To say I’m terrified would be an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely excited I am moving to paradise. But there is a lot in Virginia that I am leaving behind, and certain things that I really don’t feel ready to leave behind at all. Life doesn’t wait for you, so I think the scariest part is what I am going to come back to whenever I come home from St. John. If I am able to work steadily and make a decent amount of money, my plan is to come home for a week or so in March. My friends will have been continuing their lives here for three months and I have never been away for that long, so the idea of coming back to a whole different dynamic is scary. And then theres that whole idea of the person you’ve been in a relationship with for over 2 1/2 years getting into a new relationship while you’re 2,000 miles away so coming home to that definitely doesn’t sound appealing, but as of right now its hypothetical and regardless- this is the bed I have made so I just have to lie in it.
When I came home from school after graduation I decided that I am going to slow down and just enjoy the moment I am in, whatever that may be. Whether it be sitting in my living room chatting with my family, driving down Ashburn Village Boulevard, Christmas shopping at Dulles Town Center or sitting around drinking beer with my friends, I have challenged myself to be present in that moment and soak in the time I have left in this chapter of my life. When I bought my plane ticket I had just less than a month, and now I have just less than two weeks. It all goes by so damn fast. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to make that final step but it is happening whether I am ready or not because again, life just doesn’t wait for you. In the time I have left before my move, I am just going to soak it all in and try my best to not be distracted by anything that isn’t worth giving my time to. I am going to hug my friends as tight as I can, memorize the sound of laughing around the Christmas tree with my family, and love as hard as I can. Soaking it all in.