Who.

Welcome to blog post number one! Let’s start with a disclaimer: I am not a professional writer. I love to write, I love to share what goes on in my head, but unfortunately sometimes those thoughts come out going 90mph in 6 different directions. I also really overuse commas but just go with it. So, if you’re looking for clear, organized, professional style reading material- this might not be the place for you. If you’re generally interested in taking time out of your day to read about my crazy life and can get past my scatterbrain, God bless you and I am happy you’re here.

When coming up with a little tagline for this page, I thought about the reason for wanting to start a blog in the first place and one of my intentions is for others to understand where I am in my life, where I plan on going, and why. Most importantly, it is so that I can figure it out, too. For myself and for anyone else that is interested, this is the “who, what, when, where, and why” of a twenty-something, going through a breakup, fleeing the mainland and off to St. John, USVI. The breakup and the move are unrelated. Or are they…more to come on that (as I figure it out).

So for post number one, I’m going to start with “the who”. No one has ever told me I don’t talk about myself enough, so this may be one of the easier posts. I am a 22-year-old female, and I am an upcoming graduate of Old Dominion University. I will be graduating with a bachelors of science in human services and counseling. When it comes time to use my degree to start a career, I plan on pursuing one of my passions and becoming a crisis pregnancy counselor. Hopefully getting my masters degree is somewhere in the plans for my life and I will become a therapist, but until then, I want to work with women who are in a crisis pregnancy situation, and not only need to know all of their options but need someone to process these options, the feelings about them, the feelings about their individual situation as a whole. This is where there is a gap in the human services field, and I plan on filling it.

I grew up in Northern, Virginia and I come from a blended family. My dad, and my mom had my sister in 1991, and I arrived shortly after in 1993. After their divorce, my mom remarried to my step-dad Rodney, and his daughter became my stepsister. Rodney had cancer and was in remission, but it came back much, much worse and he passed away in 1999. My mom remarried to my now stepdad, and just after that my dad remarried to my stepmom. They both had baby boys within a few months of each other in 2002, and my stepmom and my dad had another baby, a girl, in 2008. So if you followed along with all of those parents and babies, it equals 5 parents and 5 brothers and sisters.

Growing up in a blended family has always had ups and downs, just like any other family. Some key things I have learned from my childhood that may have to do with part of who I am today are as follows: 1. Don’t get too comfortable, because something is about to change. 2. It is hard to adjust to having a stepparent, especially ones that step up to normal parenting responsibilities and challenges, but I think it is safe to assume that it is way harder to actually be a stepparent. They know how much I love them, but they’ll never know how much I appreciate them, especially since they still like me after my insane teenage years. 3. You can’t always be Switzerland. This was a tough one for me, because the older I became, the more I saw the problems that existed in one side of my extended family. I was either naïve or in denial about a lot of that, so I had a lot of pride in basically remaining the only neutral party throughout years of different fights between different people. If we weren’t going to one family thanksgiving dinner as a family, you bet your ass I drove myself 45 minutes away to stop in for 15 minutes between the 4 other dinners I committed to going to in the same 3-hour time frame. Being neutral is definitely not a bad thing, but there comes a point where even though nobody was really mean to you, if they acted a certain type of way to someone you care about…its ok to put your foot down and decide that you don’t want to be Switzerland anymore. 4. I am so utterly blessed. When I take a minute to think about the life I have been chosen to lead, I am really in awe of the blessings I have received and the people who have worked so hard to support me and guide me into becoming a (semi) independent adult. As much as I like to complain about this and that, at the end of the day I go to sleep knowing I have 4 parents on this earth to back me up, bring me down to earth, listen to me, give me advice, teach me, and guide me, and I have 1 parent in Heaven who is my guardian angel, and I know his light and his love surrounds me in everything I do. So that is just to name a few of the many things I have learned growing up in a blended family, but in short, I am very blessed.

My every day life is a bit simpler. I am completing a 400-hour internship, I babysit when I can and I work at a church daycare once a week. I am a hedgehog mom to a little girl named Koko. I like to be clean and organized, but my cleaning efforts become easily pushed aside when more important things come up, like bringing 9 Dunkin Donuts coffee cups into my room every other day, or trying on 7 different shirts every morning and being way too late to the office to hang them back up. And that leads me to another one of my standout characteristics. I am late. When I was younger, my stepdad and I would always roll our eyes at the bottom of the stairs and tap our feet while waiting for my mother to be ready for something we were supposed to be at 30 minutes ago. I praised myself for battling the late gene and being the on-time spawn of my perpetually late mother. But then…it hit me and it hit me hard. I tried to get through it, but at this point I’ve just started to accept it. I’m late. I’m late because of who I am as a person.

If you’ve ever had someone say to you, “tell me about yourself”, you probably know how uncomfortable that can be while trying to think of something other than “uhhh I like to watch Netflix and hang out with my friends.” I’ve gotten it down to a couple key points that I feel like describe me, not by my background or my daily activities, but as really who I am in my core, who I am as a person. I am caring. I know this because overall, I genuinely want people to be happy, safe, and healthy, all people, and I want to do anything I can to help. I am a bleeding heart. It doesn’t take more than 30 seconds of a YouTube video of a sad stray animal to get me to grab my keys and my wallet and try to run to the nearest shelter. I am easily convinced that the world needs saving, and also that I can save it. No problem Vic, add “save every sad person or animal in the world” onto the only spot you have open to write in your Lilly Pulitzer planner. It’s fine, I can handle it- the kitties need me. I literally almost started typing out a Marilyn Monroe quote without realizing the reason the words sounded so good together was because they’re an over popular cliché saying- but in truth, I am selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I am definitely those things. Sometimes I drink too much, I always think too much, and I am very stubborn. I decide very quickly how I feel about something, and I hold on to that opinion like it’s the last thing I’m going to do. If I’m wrong, God bless the person that led me to see that because I’m sure I fought you hard on the way. But luckily, another thing I am is accepting and apologetic. It may take me a while to accept my faults, but I like to think that I am pretty good at owning it and sincerely asking for forgiveness. I am open-minded, which I believe makes me kind. I believe in equality, and it is very hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that a lot of people do not. I am a lot of things, and I’m generally 10 different places on the spectrum of emotions on any given day.

I’m a twenty-something, trying to figure my shit out. I’m here and there, and back again all before I’ve had a second cup of coffee. Overall, I am blessed, I am passionate, I am kind, but I am human.

Thank you for reading, and I hope I have convinced you to follow my journey!

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